


The Name of the Snake

by honestlyidkwhatusernametouse



Series: Name of the Game [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Chamber of Secrets Rewrite, Gen, Harry's paternal grandmother, He's not bad, Misguided Albus Dumbledore, Not Beta'd, Parseltongue, but i kinda put it in there, but not really, he just has too much to do, is at least part Indian, this isn't actually mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29482101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honestlyidkwhatusernametouse/pseuds/honestlyidkwhatusernametouse
Summary: Book two here we go! This is still pretty closely following canon, with some minor changes.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter, Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter, Hermione Granger & Neville Longbottom & Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Kreacher & Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom & Harry Potter, Sirius Black & Harry Potter
Series: Name of the Game [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085444
Comments: 36
Kudos: 46





	1. Namely, It's Their Fault

It began as a normal day. Harry finished the last of his summer homework and was now in the library asking Kreacher questions between his usual duties. Today was one of the elf’s more chatty days, and Harry was enjoying the stories of Sirius and Regulus when they were younger. Sirius came in during the story of him and Regulus changing each other’s hair colors much to the dismay of their mother.

“Hey Pup, Kreacher telling you stories again?”

“Hi, Siri! Did you really turn Regulus’ hair blue?”

“I did. He deserved it for telling me I’d make a good Hufflepuff.” Sirius ruffled Harry’s hair as he said this. “Now, come on, it’s time for lunch, and then you need to spend some time outside in the fresh air. As much as I love you studying and spending time with lil ole me, you need to spend time outside too. Something about vitamin F or something.” Sirius winked.

“It’s vitamin _D_ and I’ve spent _lots_ of time outside. Yesterday we spent _all day_ outside.”

“Hey, enough whining. I know I’m not the most adult of adults you could be spending the summer with, but I’m still your guardian and I care about your health. Dusty libraries, no matter how not dusty, are not healthy for twelve year old boys during the summer.”

Harry grinned. “Just because you hate libraries doesn’t mean they’re bad for health.”

Sirius laughed. “Come on, Pup. Either way, it’s time for lunch. Kreacher somehow managed to make us something while telling you stories.”

Harry followed Sirius to the dining room. After they finished eating, Harry headed outside to go to the park down the street. As he climbed on the jungle gym, he thought he saw a pair of big eyes peeking at him through a bush. Shrugging it off as a trick of the light, he continued playing for another hour or so. As he was walking home, a house elf he didn’t recognize popped up in front of him.

“What are you doing, popping up in the middle of a muggle street!” Harry hissed.

“Dobby is sorry, Dobby must speak with Harry Potter sir!” the little creature said.

“That’s fine, but you can’t just pop out in the middle of muggle London!” Harry whispered frantically. “Come on, let’s find somewhere we can talk without being seen.”

Dobby followed Harry into an alleyway, where Harry looked around carefully, then turned to the house elf. “Now. Why do you need to speak with me?” Harry asked.

“Dobby must tell Harry Potter not to go back to Hogwarts this year!”

“And why must I not go to Hogwarts?”

“Dobby cannot say exactly,” the little creature hedged.

“And what _can_ you tell me?”

“There is great danger at Hogwarts!”

Harry snorted. “When is there not,” he muttered.

“Harry Potter must not return to Hogwarts this year!”

“Ok. I can’t promise not to go back to Hogwarts, but I can promise to be extra careful and never go anywhere alone. I can also tell Sirius about the danger at Hogwarts, and he can help too.”

Dobby nodded sadly. “If that is what Harry Potter insists.” He popped away, and Harry hurried home. He had a lot to tell Sirius.

“Sirius!” he called as soon as he entered the house.

“What’s up, Pup?” the answer came from the sitting room.

Harry sat on the couch next to Sirius and curled up next to him. “I met a house elf named Dobby. He said I shouldn’t go back to Hogwarts. I told him I’d tell you about it. He said something about great danger.”

“When is there not,” Sirius muttered.

“That’s what I said!” Harry grinned. “I also promised him that I wouldn’t go anywhere alone.”

“Good plan, Pup.” Sirius said. “Now, I do believe it’s nearly time for dinner. Do you want me to make something or do you want Kreacher to make something?”

“Can I make something?”

“Sure, Pup. How long will it be? Or do you want help?”

“If you want to help me make that curry you said dad liked?”

“Of course, let’s go see what we have. We should have everything.”

They enjoyed an evening of cooking and cuddling while reading. Eventually Harry fell asleep on Sirius’ shoulder and Sirius gently carried him to bed, tucking him in.

The letters arrived, and Les Amis set up a date to go buy their supplies. They met in Diagon Alley and split up to get the stuff quicker. They all met back up at Flourish and Blotts, where there seemed to be some kind of event going on. Harry groaned at the sight of the crowd inside, and turned puppy eyes on Sirius.

“Do I have to go in there, Padfoot?”

Draco snorted inelegantly next to him, earning him a gentle swat from his mother. “Yes, Baklava, you need to go in the book store. There’s no way I’m carrying your books for you, and there’s _definitely_ no way I’m letting you stay out here while we all face whatever is happening in there.”

Harry sighed, but he was smiling. Ron’s little sister, Ginny he thought her name was, looked between Draco and him with a little hidden grin. He wondered what that was about. He shrugged and turned away. “Fine,” he groaned. “But I’m making you hold my books for the pain you’re causing me.”

Draco grinned. “That’s likely. I _just_ said I wasn’t carrying your books, Gordetta.”

“Wow, two last name uses,” Neville broke in. “That’s the cue we’ve been waiting for to go in.”

The kids all laughed and entered the store. Harry was instantly barraged by a wave of sound and pictures of a blond man who looked like he was trying too hard. The blond man was at the front of the store seemingly making a speech of some kind. Harry tried to slip behind some bookshelves, looking for the books on his list, but the ponce at the front of the room saw him first.

“Well I’ll be, is that Harry Potter?”

Harry groaned, “Gradient.” Ron snickered beside him and shoved him up to the front of the room when the blond thing motioned him up. Harry shot a glare at his supposed friend.

“Hello, Harry. Can I call you Harry? Well anyway, I want you to be the first to hear officially. I’m going to be your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor! And you get a free copy of all my books, which are the textbooks for this year!”

Harry was so confused. Who was this man? Why did he think he could just call him Harry?

“Oh perfect! A photograph! This’ll make the front page for sure!”

Harry desperately wanted out of the strange hold the man had on him. He felt a little uncomfortable in the man’s grip. He shot a pleading glance at Sirius, who began moving up towards him.

“Gilderoy Lockhart,” Sirius said tonelessly. “What a pleasure. If you would relinquish your hold on my godson that would be much appreciated.”

“Oh yes, it is a pleasure for you,” The newly named Lockhart said, not letting go of Harry. Harry squirmed a little, trying to get out of the grip. “Who are you again?”

“Sirius Black, and you are making my godson uncomfortable. Let go of him and we can all be on our separate ways. He still has some packing to do, you understand.”

Lockhart finally released Harry, who practically ran over to his friends. He practically shoved the books given to him by Lockhart into Ginny’s cauldron, not wanting anything to do with the books that the man personally touched. Finally, they were able to escape the store, and Harry turned his puppy eyes back on Sirius.

“See, Padfoot, I knew I shouldn’t go in there.”

Sirius sighed. “Come on, Pup, I think it’s curry night, and you do actually need to pack.”

Harry grinned and waved to his friends, then grabbed ahold of Sirius’ arm, the two of them disappearing with their purchases back to their home.


	2. Name Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The train ride to Hogwarts and Harry meets someone new!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! I hope you guys like it!

September first arrived, and the strange house elf Dobby hadn’t come back to warn Harry about any horrible plots against Harry or his friends. Harry made sure all his stuff was packed, then grabbed Hedwig’s cage, sending Hedwig ahead to school.

“Hey, Pup, you ready to go?” Sirius asked from the doorway just as Harry was putting the last book in his trunk.

“Yeah! I’m ready,” Harry said with a grin. He was excited to see his friends. He hoped Dobby didn’t do anything weird to make him miss the train or something. He suddenly had a weird vision of him and his friends driving a flying car to Hogwarts and snorted. As if he would ever be stupid enough to try something like that.

Sirius shrunk his trunk for him, then led him downstairs. “We’re going to Floo to the platform. The fireplaces on both sides are big enough for us to go together, so that’s what we’ll do.” Harry nodded. They hurried downstairs to the entrance hall and Sirius stepped into the fireplace. Harry took a last look around, then stepped in after him, grabbing ahold of Sirius’ arm tightly when he was told to. Sirius threw down the Floo powder and called out their destination.

Harry would have fallen if Sirius hadn’t been holding on to him as much as Harry was holding on to Sirius. He heard a light giggle from a few feet away, then bushy black hair filled his vision. “Hermione,” he whined. “Don’t laugh at me! Just cause I can’t get through the Floo doesn’t mean I should get laughed at!”

Hermione just laughed again. “Oh honestly, Harry. You’ve got to admit your death grip on Sirius is a little funny. And the fact that he’s holding just as tightly doesn’t make it any less hilarious.”

“Hermioneeeee!” This time Sirius laughed. Harry just turned to him, looking utterly betrayed.

“Ok, ok, Pup, ease up on the puppy eyes.” Sirius said, barely holding his laughter in. “Looks like I went with the right nickname,” he added under his breath. Harry just smirked.

Hermione noticed Draco standing near the train and pulled Harry and Sirius along to go see him and his family. The three friends exchanged greetings as the adults discussed something or other over their heads. Harry caught snippets of the beginning.

“Narci! Luci! How wonderful to see you!” Sirius, as usual, sounded like an overexcited puppy.

Lady Malfoy seemed very displeased at his nickname for her, and Harry also saw that Lord Malfoy had a slightly disgusted look on his neutral face. Harry suspected that the look was also for the nicknames. “Cousin Sirius. How have you been the last week since we saw you?” Lady Malfoy’s voice dripped with fond disdain. Harry had no idea how someone could do that, but he suspected Professor Snape had the same gift. The adults continued talking and the kids waved to Ron’s family, who had just entered the platform from the Muggle side, and Neville, who had just Floo’d in with his Gran. They soon joined the group and the kids said their last goodbyes. Harry held tightly to Sirius for a few moments.

“I’ll see you at Yule, Pup, and you can write to me as often as you want,” Sirius whispered into his hair.

“Thank you, Padfoot,” Harry said quietly, then released his godfather, getting on the train with his friends. They waved for a few minutes, then the adult Disapparated. The group quickly found a compartment and started chatting some more and playing a few games of Exploding Snap.

“So, what does everyone think about the new DADA prof?” Unsurprisingly, Draco was the first to broach the subject.

Hermione snorted. “I don’t know if you could call him a professor. He was so unprofessional at Flourish and Blotts. Just grabbing someone like that, even if they are famous, and then ignoring the fact that they were clearly uncomfortable.”

Harry grimaced at the reminder. “I doubt we’ll learn anything in his classes. His books talk a big game, but they are awfully fantastical. They remind me of Muggle fantasy books, except they sometimes get more right than Fakeout does in his books.”

Ron and Neville snorted at the nickname, while Hermione gave him a reproving look and Draco looked like he was about to start laughing. Harry just grinned at Hermione and she huffed. “Sirius was right about those eyes of yours. They are _lethal_.” Draco burst out laughing, falling over onto Harry. Harry just grinned happily down at him.

At that moment, there was a knock on the compartment door and Ginny came in with a blonde girl who looked a little lost. She saw Harry and Draco and smirked. “Guys, this is Luna Lovegood. She’s a first year like me.”

Harry gently shoved Draco off and walked up to the girl who was barely shorter than him, despite the year of good food. He pouted a little at the thought, then smiled gently down at the girl. “Luna, right? Did you know much about Hogwarts before this year?”

“Oh yes. Daddy has told me quite a bit about it. Mumma did too, before she died.” Luna’s voice was light and dreamy, and Harry found himself instantly liking the girl.

“Were you and your Mum close, then?” He asked softly.

“Oh yes. She often told me stories about the Gulping Plimplies that hung around shortly before I was born.”

“What are Gulping Plimplies?” Neville asked curiously while Hermione did her best to not look like she disliked the girl’s ideas.

“Oh they’re little creatures that hang around pregnant women who are about to go into labour. Mumma told me they showed up the morning I was born. They look like little snitches, a little.”

Harry nodded. This made as much sense as anything else in this world. Les Amis shared a look, then Harry invited the two girls into the compartment with a smile. They quickly continued their discussions, seamlessly including the girls in the conversations. Before they knew it, they had reached Hogwarts.

“Good luck, Luna, Ginny,” Harry offered. “We’ll see you guys at the Sorting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did any of you figure out what Ginny's noticing? Did you like Luna? How about Sirius and the Malfoys?
> 
> Please leave me some comments, they feed the muse!


	3. Putting a Name to a Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sorting and DADA class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! It's not midnight where my parents are, so this is totally still Sunday, even if it's a little after midnight where I am lol.

Harry paid some attention to the thestrals when they got to the carriages, but he couldn’t spend too much time with them. They quickly reached the front doors of Hogwarts and he gave a quick pat to their thestral, who gently shoved its head into his chest, much to Harry’s joy.

The friends quickly agreed to meet up for a few minutes after the Sorting, then headed to their separate tables. Harry chatted with Draco, Blaise, and Theo, with the girls in their year throwing in the occasional comment as well. Crabbe and Goyle were as silent as usual. The new first years finally filtered in following Professor McGonagall. The Sorting Hat sat on its usual stool, waiting for the new students to group in front of it. It then began to sing.

_Long ago, four aspiring friends_

_Sought to give wizard kind a safe place_

_For the skills that so few could learn._

_Helga Hufflepuff, fierce and protective,_

_Valued honesty and hard work,_

_Loyalty and trust._

_Rowena Ravenclaw, brilliant as can be,_

_Riddled the mind with puzzles_

_To make you think or laugh with glee._

_Godric Gryffindor, a brave and mighty man_

_No battle too unwieldy for friends_

_In need across the land._

_Salazar Slytherin, with cunning and drive_

_His silver tongue could bring_

_The best to survive and succeed_

_Now it is time for me to decide,_

_Where will you go?_

_To Helga, Rowena, Godric, or Sally?_

_Put me on, do not fear,_

_I’ll put you where you_

_Most need to be._

After it finished, the new first years were quickly sorted, with Ginny going to Gryffindor with Ron and Luna going to Ravenclaw with Hermione. He noticed a few other names. A Colin Creevey went to Gryffindor. Harry saw the twins start talking to him and vaguely hoped they weren’t telling the poor kid horror stories. Hailey Dorin went to Ravenclaw with Luna, a Timothy Higgins came to Slytherin and he made sure to give him a small smile, barely noticeable to any other House. Dylan Jackson ended up in Hufflepuff, and he saw Ernie MacMillan ruffle his hair. Laura Kinsley was another Gryffindor, and he saw Ginny grin. He realized she was going to have a lot of friends. Good. Valorie Moore went to Gryffindor as well and she sat next to Laura with a sigh of relief. Carter Smith took a while but he eventually went to Hufflepuff. Harry wondered if he was related to Zachariah Smith.

Finally, the Feast ended and Les Amis met up for a few minutes. Ron was laughing uncontrollably.

“What happened Bonfire?” Draco asked.

“Th-the twins,” Ron gasped. He breathed heavily for a few moments, then took a deep breath and started again. “Colin Creevey, one of the new firsties, was talking to the twins, and they were telling him about You-Know-Who, and they mentioned his real name-”

Harry coughed, “Probably still a fake name. Can you imagine growing up with a name like that? No wonder he went evil.”

Draco snorted, then burst into laughter. “K-keep going, Ron.”

Ron rolled his eyes. “Anyway, they mentioned his name and Colin said, ‘Did you say his name was Mouldywarts? Why would anyone name their kid that?’”

The five kids looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Mouldywarts!” Neville giggled. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!”

Hermione also giggled, then eventually got out, “What if, what if we tried to come up with the funniest names for good ole Voldy? Help bring down the fear factor around his name?”

Draco laughed out loud. “I just realized that his name is French for ‘Flees from Death.’ Fitting, for someone who either can’t or won’t die.”

The group laughed for a little longer before saying goodbye and going to their Common Rooms. Harry and Draco had to practically run, because while the Prefects usually took a longer route, they had been laughing for longer than they had planned. They made it back to the Common Room just minutes before the first years did, and were sitting calmly on one of the couches waiting for Professor Snape’s annual greeting.

The next morning came too early for Harry, who had become used to the later mornings during the summer. He groaned and would have fallen back asleep, except Draco threw a pillow at him, and, well, that couldn’t be allowed. A short time later, Harry had buried Draco under an impressive amount of pillows, then sat on top of them with a smirk.

“Pottington!” Draco yelled from under the pile, kicking out and trying to shove Harry off him. Harry just laughed, but got up quickly, knowing that Draco needed quite a bit of time in front of the mirror in the morning to be ready. Draco stood up with a pout and his hair a mess. Draco frantically tried to make his hair less messy and Harry felt a strange sensation in his stomach.

“Hurry upppp, Draco, I’m hungy!”

“It’s your fault for burying me in pillows!”

“You started it by throwing a pillow at me!”

“You were taking too long to wake up! I already was ready, and now I have to fix my hair because of you!”

Harry grinned. “If you take much longer, I’m gonna drag you out whether you think you’re presentable or not, you prat!”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Draco luckily appeared then, looking as put together as he always did. “Come on, Harry, honestly, it’s like one of us takes forever in the mornings.”

Harry gaped at Draco’s back, and the only thing stopping him from tackling him was his hunger.

Breakfast passed quickly, and unfortunately, their first class was DADA with Lockhart. The blond man gave them all a rather long piece of parchment with several questions written on it.

“Just a little test to see how well you read the textbooks for term! Go on, then, shouldn’t take you too long if you’ve read them!”

Harry looked at the first question and snorted. There was no way he was answering these correctly. Ever. The first question read ‘What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s favorite color?’ This was followed by questions like, ‘How many times has Gilderoy Lockhart won _Witch Weekly’s_ Most Charming Smile Award?’, ‘What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s secret ambition?’ and generally absolutely nothing about any sort of Defense against anything, except perhaps, the professor himself.

Harry smirked as he handed in the test. He had purposefully answered them with horrible answers, like ‘puke green’ for the favorite color question, ‘you were a runner up twenty times but never received it’ for the Witch Weekly question, and said that Lockhart’s secret ambition was ‘to be the worlds most egotistical disappointment’.

Lockhart looked through the quizzes as he picked them up, then seemed to wilt a little. “Only a few of you knew that my favorite color was lilac, and that I had the Most Charming Smile award five times. Not to mention that my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and release my own hair care potion!”

Harry snorted and muttered under his breath, “Is it really a secret ambition if everybody knows about it?” Draco barely held in a snort next to him.

Lockhart went to the front of the room, where a cloth covered something sat on the desk. “Now, we will have a practical. Fear not, for while these creatures are frightening, I am here!” With that, Lockhart ripped the cloth off with a flourish, revealing-

“Cornish pixies?” Ron asked from a few desks over. “They’re not all that dangerous.”

“Ah but they do cause chaos!” And with that statement, Lockhart opened the cage. The pixies flew out of the cage and began throwing things, hanging people from the chandelier, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. “It’s not too difficult to take care of them! Come now, try with me! _Peskipiksi Peskernomi!”_ Nothing happened, and one of the pixies flew up and threw his wand out the window. Lockhart squeaked and ducked towards his office. “Well, uh, good luck then! I’ll be right here if you need assistance!” and disappeared through the door.

Harry sighed. “Sorry about this, everyone,” he called. “ _Immobulus Maxima!”_ Everything froze, except for him. He grabbed the cage off Lockhart’s desk and swung it through the air, catching the pixies in it. After he got all of them and locked the cage, he muttered, “ _Finite Incantatum_.” Time continued.

Draco glared lightly at Harry. “Next time warn me if you’re going to freeze me.”

“I did. I said, ‘Sorry about this, everyone.’ I don’t know what you were expecting.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to _freeze me in place_ just to get a bunch of pixies.”

“Yeah, well, now Lockhart’s disappeared, and we have half an hour left of class, so, free time I guess,” Ron said, breaking into the conversation. The students dispersed, leaving the three friends walking together.

“How about that quiz? It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen,” Draco said.

“I purposefully put wrong answers,” Harry admitted. “I didn’t read the books in any case, but this is Defense class, not Meet Lockhart class.”

“What did you put for the secret ambition question?” Ron asked. “I said, ‘be mistaken for someone who matters.’”

Draco snorted.

“I put ‘to be the world’s most egotistical disappointment’,” Harry said.

Draco snorted again. “I put ‘marry a rich woman and be her personal centerfold until she dies under mysterious circumstances leaving you as her sole benefactor’.”

Harry laughed. “Draco! That’s horrible! How could you sentence any woman to a life sentence with that thing?”

They all laughed as they walked. Suddenly Harry froze. There was a voice coming from the walls!

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Draco asked.

“A voice, from the walls. It sounded… dangerous.”

He heard it again. “ _Rip, tear, let me eat you.”_

“You guys can’t hear that?”

It was Ron who broke the silence this time. “Harry, what are you talking about?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter! Please leave me a comment! It feeds my creativity.
> 
> Next Chapter: Snake bonding time! (Y'all remember Sulu, right?)


	4. I Didn't Get Your Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what the voice is, vaguely at least, and a conversation with Sulu as promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Make sure you leave me a comment if you would be so kind!
> 
> Trigger warning! There is an allusion to slight pedophilia. Nothing happens, and nothing ever will happen, but it's alluded to, and everyone gets uncomfortable.

“You guys really can’t hear it? It’s a voice, coming from the walls,” Harry said.

“The only sound coming from the walls is the hissing of… the, pipes…” Draco trailed off at the end.

Ron spun to look at Draco. “No way.” He spun back to Harry. “You think it’s a snake?”

“If it’s a snake, it’s a violent one. They want to rip something. Also eat. I think they’re hungry. I wonder if I could find them. Maybe they’ll like some rats or whatever they eat.”

“ _Harry._ We _do not_ feed violent snakes if they want to rip something apart,” Draco hissed.

Harry rolled his eyes. “I never said I would deliver anything in _person_. Maybe I’ll just flush some mice down the toilets or something.”

“ _Harry!”_ This time it was Ron.

Harry grinned. Draco groaned softly. “If you die trying to feed a murderous snake, I’m learning necromancy specifically to bring you back to life so I can kill you again.”

Harry just laughed. “Come on, Dray. We should do some homework with the rest of the day. Ron, you should probably take a nap or something, so you’ll be awake for Astronomy. I promise I won’t try to feed any snakes. Maybe I should ask Sulu what she knows.”

The three split ways. When Harry and Draco got to the Common Room, they were relieved to see Flint on an couch with his books around him.

“Hey, Flint, can I borrow Sulu for a couple minutes? I have a couple questions for her,” Harry asked when the older student wasn’t writing. Harry knew how annoying it was to be startled while writing.

“Sure, Rain. Give me just a second to find a good place to stop.” A moment later, Flint wrote something down, then disappeared into his dorm. He reappeared a moment later with Sulu wrapped around his arm.

Once Harry had her safely, he went to sit in front of the fire so she could stay warm. #Hello Sssulu. How wasss your sssummer?#

#Ssspeaker! My long-day-ssseassson wasss good.#

#Have you been hearing the sssnake in the wallsss?#

#Yesss Ssspeaker. Ssshe isss conssstantly ssspeaking and will not ssshut up.#

Harry snorted. #Do you know why ssshe wantsss to kill everyone?#

#Ssshe doesss not sssay Ssspeaker. I do not know why ssshe isss ssso violent.#

#Thanksss Sssulu. Would you like me to tell Marcusss anything for you?#

From there the conversation devolved into general chatter. Draco came to sit nearby, bringing their homework for them to finish.

The next day they had Herbology in the morning, but once they arrived, Harry and Draco saw Lockhart talking with Professor Sprout.

“Of course, Professor, if you ever need help repotting that Venomous Tentacula, I invented a very handy trick, so let me know!” Professor Sprouts face was the perfect picture of hidden fury, and Harry tried valiantly to hide his snicker. Unfortunately, Lockhart heard it and turned around.

“Ah Harry! It’s wonderful to see you!” Lockhart threw his arm over Harry’s shoulder and turned back to Professor Sprout. “You don’t mind if I borrow Harry for a few moments, do you? Wonderful!” Without even giving Professor Sprout a chance to answer, Lockhart dragged Harry a few feet away.

“Harry, Harry, Harry,” Lockhart said. “I graded your quiz, and honestly it could stand to use a little improvement! If you like, I can offer you some extra credit after classes today. I don’t want to see you fail such an important class after all! I’m sure it won’t be a problem for your Head of House, do you?”

Harry tried fruitlessly to get out of the man’s grip, but when he heard the offering for extra credit, he froze. “What would I do to get extra credit?” he asked nervously.

“Oh, just little things like helping me autograph photographs or something like that, nothing big!” Harry relaxed a little and resumed his attempts to free himself.

“Professor, I promise I’ll do better in your classes, but right now you’re making me late to another class. I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it tonight as I have a prior engagement, but I will definitely do better in your class in the future. Will you let me go to my class now?”

“Oh of course, of course! And make sure you do indeed do better in class now!” With that, Lockhart finally released him and Harry practically ran to the greenhouse. He sat next to Draco and tried to listen intently to the professor, but Lockhart had just reminded him of his uncle before he stopped needing excuses to beat him. Draco picked up on his mood and made sure he didn’t get too distracted. After classes, Draco took Harry to the Common Room and sat him down.

“Harry? What’s wrong? What did Lockhart want to talk about?”

Harry took a shaky breath and told Draco about the one-sided conversation. Draco inhaled sharply when he heard about the extra credit opportunity, but relaxed when he heard about what the extra credit would have been, supposedly. He relaxed even more when Harry managed to get out of being alone with the man.

“Harry, I want you to try to avoid being alone with him if at all possible. Something’s not right, and I don’t trust him.”

“Yeah, of course, Dray. I wasn’t planning on being alone with him if I could avoid it. If I have to, I’ll get detentions with Professor Snape.”

“That will work. Now, we have Transfiguration homework, so let’s get to it. I think we should have a Les Amis meeting after supper.”

Harry agreed, and they quickly finished their assignment. At supper, Harry and Draco both activated their rings when they finished eating. They then went to what the group had dubbed “their” classroom and waited. Hermione arrived first, unsurprisingly, quickly followed by Neville and Ron.

Harry started. “I’m hearing a snake in the walls. She’s violent and doesn’t seem to have any issues with killing people, so don’t go anywhere alone if you can help it.”

Hermione gasped. “What kind of snake would be able and willing to kill people that easily?” she asked.

“Does it particularly matter at the moment? Just make sure you don’t go anywhere alone. We can try to figure out what kind of snake she is, but for now, just, be careful,” Harry said.

“Also, don’t trust Lockhart. Don’t be alone with him if you can help it. He might be harmless, but he also might not be. He offered Harry ‘extra credit’ today because he didn’t do well on the test he gave,” Draco said.

“The ponce wouldn’t know if someone did well on a test if the test bit him in the butt,” Neville wondered.

“Oh, Mandrake’s getting more deadly! What happened to make you not like him?” Ron asked.

“His test was a joke! I mean seriously, ‘What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s secret ambition?’ What kind of question for a DADA class is that?”

“What’d you put?” Draco asked, sounding excited.

“To go absolutely feral and live in a bog.”

“Nice!” The comment came from all three boys. Hermione huffed.

“He is still a professor. Yes, I agree that we should be careful around him after his conversation with Harry, but honestly. He grades those tests. At least try on them.”

“Aw, come on, Hermione!” Ron whined. “He’s a useless professor, and if anything from this year is on any test after this year, I’ll eat my favorite hat.”

The boys laughed, and even Hermione snorted before looking at the time. “It’s almost curfew. We better go. Have a good night, guys.”

“Good night!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How would you guys feel about a House Cup style thing? I ask some questions about the story (not from the current chapter) and you guys answer with your House. I give points for correct answers and we see who wins at the end of each book? The only prizes I would be able to offer would be like virtual cookies or something small like that. Tell me what you think!


	5. She Knew His Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry meets a snake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope y'all noticed the rating go up. It went up for language and general slight violence in a joke.
> 
> I hope you guys like the chapter! Please leave a review!

One day, between classes, Harry heard the snake speaking again.

#Rip, tear, kill, I’M HUNGRY#

Harry jumped at the shout. #Um, what do you eat usssually?# he asked hesitantly.

The voice was quiet for a few minutes. Harry had almost decided to walk away when the voice came again. #Ssspeaker? There isss a Ssspeaker here?#

#Yesss?# That sounded like more of a question than he had intended. Oh well. #I am a Ssspeaker. My name isss Harry. What isss your name? A sssnake that knowsss their way ssso well mussst have been around for a long time and therefore hasss been given a name.#

#My name isss Sssalmisssssra. You are not the little fire headed girl who isss actually my Tom.#

Harry froze. _Little red headed girl?_ That sounded like Ginny. Since when could anyone in Ron’s family talk to snakes? And what was this about _she’s actually my Tom?_ Who the heck was Tom? #Who isss Tom?# he asked aloud.

#My hatchling,# came the reply. #Before he came in the fire head girl, he wasss here only a couple yearsss ago. He put me to sssleep before he left.#

#If he put you to sssleep before he left, are you sssure it wasss only a couple of yearsss?# Harry asked.

Salmissra was quiet for a few moments. #You could be right, hatchling. Time isss ssstrange when you are asssleep for a long time. My Tom told me that it had been a thousssand yearsss sssinccce the lassst time I had been awake, with my Sssalazar.#

Harry gaped. _Salazar?_ Like _Salazar Slytherin?_ That was _awesome!_ This snake had known _Salazar Slytherin!_ #You knew _Sssalazar Ssslytherin?_ Can you tell me about him? What was he like? What was his favorite color? Isss it true that he and Godric Gryffindor got in a fight about Mugglebornsss?#

Salmissra let out a hissy laugh. #Patienccce, hatchling. I will anssswer all your quessstionsss. My Sssalazar wasss a good man. He had a ssstrange sssenssse of humor in my opinion, but he made the othersss laugh easssily. I remember when I wasss sssmall and he would carry on hisss ssshouldersss asss he walked around our Chamber. He would tell me about hisss friendsss and how the ssschool wasss doing. He alssso told me the funniessst joke I can remember. “A young apprenticcce magizoologissst saysss to hisss massster, ‘isss thisss sssnake poisssonousss?’ The massster looksss at the sssnake and repliesss, ‘no, the sssnake isss not poisssonousss at all.” The boy picksss up the sssnake, and it bitesss him. The boy beginsss to ssshake and foam at the mouth. The massster continuesss, ‘it isss venomousss. Remember, poissson isss ssswallowed or absssorbed. Venom isss injected. Remember that next time.’”#

Harry couldn’t help but giggle a little. He could see why Salmissra would have liked this joke the best. It was violent, and the snake was only doing what it did usually. Harry suddenly heard a noise at the end of the hall and snapped his head up to look at the person walking toward him. It was Draco. #My friend isss coming. He isss of Sssalazar’sss Houssse, asss am I. Would you mind if he lissstensss with me? I will have to tell him what you say, sssinccce he can’t Ssspeak.#

#Of courssse, hatchling. My Sssalazar put me in the ssschool to protect the ssstudentsss from the Mugglesss, and if your friend isss of my Sssalazar’sss Houssse, then I am honored to have him lisssten to me.#

Harry grinned. “Hi Draco! The snake in the wall is named Salmissra! She knew Salazar Slytherin and is telling me about him! Do you want to join me?”

Draco’s jaw dropped. “What the _fuck_ Harry! What part of ‘don’t talk to the violent snake in the walls’ did you miss?” Then he dropped down on the floor next to Harry. “Of course I want to hear stories about Salazar Slytherin, who do you think I am?”

Harry just laughed. “Apparently he was into snake jokes, at least around Salmissra. I’ll tell you her favorite joke later. Also he used to carry her around on his shoulders in their chamber.” #What elssse, Sssalmissssssra?#

Salmissra continued to tell stories until it was time to eat. Harry reluctantly bid her farewell.

“You do realize you can talk to her most any time, right? All you have to do is find where she is and talk to her.” Draco reminded him.

Harry grinned sheepishly. “Oh yeah.” #Sssalmissssssra, do you mind if I come to talk to you again sssometime?#

#Of courssse, hatchling! I will be happy to talk to you more! Maybe you can tell me about yourssself and your friendsss!#

#Thank you for telling usss about Sssalazar!# Harry called as Draco dragged him away.

#Goodbye, hatchling,# Salmissra hissed back, seeming amused.

Harry pouted as Draco pulled him away, but brightened a moment later. “We should tell the others about Salmissra!” Now Harry was doing the pulling. “Hermione especially will be excited to hear about Salazar Slytherin!”

Draco sighed, but let his best friend pull him down to dinner. After they finished eating, Harry was still practically bouncing in place, and Draco sighed again before twisting his ring to let the others know they were having a meeting. He grabbed Harry’s arm and began pulling him along, fondly listening to his chatter.

When they entered their old classroom, Harry was surprised for a moment to see everyone. “Oh! Did someone call a meeting?”

“Yes, Harry,” Hermione said. “Draco did. You were sitting right next to him when he sent the signal. Were you not paying attention?”

Draco sighed again. “Harry here was distracted because he made a new friend today.”

“A new friend? Why aren’t they here?” Neville asked.

“Please don’t tell me it’s the murder snake,” Ron groaned. He groaned louder when two voices spoke up simultaneously.

“It’s the murder snake.” Harry’s voice was concernedly excited, while Draco’s voice was full of exasperation.

“ _Harry._ What did I say about talking to murder snakes?” Ron asked, just as exasperated as Draco.

“You didn’t say anything about talking to murder snakes. You just said not to feed her.”

Ron turned to Draco. “Did he just say _her_? As in he had an actual conversation with the murder snake?” Draco just nodded.

“Hey! Salmissra wouldn’t hurt anyone! She was put here by Salazar Slytherin to protect the students!” At this Hermione perked up.

“Salazar Slytherin? As in a thousand years ago Founder Salazar Slytherin?” Harry nodded enthusiastically.

“ _Salmissra?_ ” Ron asked unbelievingly. Harry turned to him.

“Yeah! It’s her name!”

“Enough about the actual snake, I want to know about Slytherin! Did she tell you about him? What about the whole time the Founders were here?” Hermione was getting excited. She had pulled out a quill and parchment, ready to take notes.

Harry began to tell her everything, including the joke. “I’m guessing Slytherin’s humor was on the punny, dark side.”

Neville snorted. “Harry, curfew’s coming. Why don’t you tell us the rest tomorrow? Besides, I’m sure the other Slytherins would be excited to hear about their Founder straight from the snake’s mouth.”

Draco looked horrified at the thought of Harry telling the Slytherins about the snake in the wall. “How about we just tell them we found a portrait or something, Harry,” he said, steering the still babbling boy out the door. “If they found out about Salmissra they might go looking for her and get eaten or something.” Hermione wasn’t far behind them, but she was headed towards her own dorms, clearly planning to research more.

Ron laughed. “Nice going, Neville. You got Harry to bed, and now Hermione has a new research project. Now all we have to do is make sure Harry keeps his idiot self alive while talking to a thousand year old snake.”

Neville grinned back. “We’ll let Draco worry about that for now. I wasn’t kidding. Curfew really is coming up, and I still have one more assignment to do. Goodnight, Ron.”

“Night, Nev.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight today I have two questions for you guys, but only one gets points. The rules are simple. I ask a question, you give your answer and House, I award points.
> 
> First question (not worth points): Who do you guys think will be the main protagonist in the next book since Sirius is already free?  
> Second question: Who did Harry meet first?
> 
> Say your answers in the comments and also tell me what you thought about the chapter!


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